Such a hard word to define in the best of situations...Its Monday night the week after Halloween. Sorry Nevan that I haven't wrote in a while but as you know I have been doing lots of things for and with you around the house.
Aside from painting and fixing random things around our new house we have had lots of fun together here at home. So far we have watched Madagascar 1,2, and 3 at least 50 times each! Played PS3 for a few hundred hours and another hundred on the Nintendo DS.... Yes we had other fun too. We have had lunch in the playroom and puzzles and train sets set up. Nylah has had lots of fun playing with her dollies too. We get out to the backyard a bit but the mud is too much for even my boots right now. We are starting to get into some arts and crafts as well as daytime reading and writing. Your Mom and I will be finished with getting the house under control by next week so even more fun can be had while we are both still off work.
Sooo things are starting to get back to `normal`...Life still isn`t and never will be the same as before though. The one thing that keeps coming to mind is how Frodo felt after surviving the ring in Lord Of The Rings. Nerdy comparison I know. But it somehow resembles the sadness I still and will always fell no matter how quick and fully Nevan recovers. Not only have we lost quality happy moments with him through this summer but he still is missing out on so much because it just isn't safe for him yet. Its getting difficult again to see him with his nose tube. We will being making a solid consistent effort next week to get him to take either liquid or pill orally and finally be rid of it. I miss his beautiful baby boy face behind that NG tube disguised as a black spider-man web...It just another reminder of the hospital stay, the IV tubes plugged in to him everywhere, the pokes, the sedation's, the vomiting and fevers, the screaming and the sadness of a mere 4 year old pulled into the disturbing world of cancer by no fault of his own.
Nevan does better with his situation than we do I think. He feels the restrictions on him but seems to compensate well. Today we went for a treat at tim hortons. We were driving back from having car cleaned when we both had to pee..We all decide to see this as an opportunity to have a snack and drink and have a normal family moment. The restaurant was empty for the most part. We let the kids choose their own treat. We pulled chairs around a table and huddled over our treats. Nevan didn't like his choice so we went and got more chocolate timbits. the he wanted water. I had to go out to the car. Nylah wouldn't sit by herself she had to sit in mommy`s lap. Yup normal has returned.... Then the stares start. People notice his NG tube and then his missing hair. We carry on and its an innocent enough thing to just notice. As a father and already hi strung guy I'm ready to deal with anyone who disrespects him. I hope that day never comes.
We I have a few more posts to catch up on. Exhausted though. Ill write again soon....
